The Country Music Awards

I tuned into the Country Music Awards out of boredom and a lack of anything else resembling entertainment on the tube.

What I found was mildly appalling. I’ve never been a fan of Country Music. In fact, I would go so far as to say it is the only form of music I generally dislike. I am, however, a big fan of Bluegrass, which is, in some ways, very similar to Country. But there is one main difference. I still am not sure what that is, but, trust me, it exists. There is some factor that makes Bluegrass not just tolerable, but downright enjoyable, and, to me, Country does not have it. What is it? Originality? Whiskey? Soul? It might be soul.

Whatever makes Country Country, I don’t know. I do know that it has always had the same enduring characteristics which have always contributed to my dislike: Jeans, Cowboy Boots and Hats, Overly Wholesome Artists and Performances, Plaid, Goatees and Mullets.

I must say I was shocked to see what Country looks like today.

The most noticeable trend was the complete lack of color (and I’m not talking about skin –yet). There was not a single splash of color anywhere in the building. Ever single artist, performer, presenter, reporter and guest wore black. Every one. Black shoes, black jeans, black shirts, black hats. Not a single red bandanna in the crowd.

The new look of Country.

It seriously looked like a pathetic attempt at goth- everyone was wearing black pleather. There were even pleather clad dancing whores on stage for one of the performances, titled something like “Shake it, Girl, Shake it.” I believe it was a Black Eyed Peas cover.

 Other thoughts on the CMAs:

• Really? Lionel Ritchie? With the dude from Hootie and the Blowfish? What’s his name? Oh yeah, Hootie. I know that Hootie has been long trying to establish himself as the black guy in Country music, much to the chagrin of most country music fans, but Lionel Richie? Couldn’t he find an audience in an elevator, or perhaps a dentist’s office?

• An assortment of (apparently) country stars have joined Ritchie on stage for an embarrassing (yes, I know the song is already embarrassing) version of Dancing on the Ceiling.

• Scantily clad dancing girls, bad music and now…black guys? Songs about pickup trucks instead of Benzes. Drinking Budweiser instead of Colt 45. Loving Jesus instead of Chronic. (Ok, I admit, that one is a little skewed. I mean, most of us agree that chronic is harmless.) My god, is country the new crappy rap music? Pop the Cristal, it’s BET late night!

• Our Hosts, Brad Paisley and Carrie Underwood took us on a musical journey through the show, infusing it with no less than 26 performances each. Plus they both performed.

Good 'Ol Nazi Fightin' Hank!

• At one point, Brad sang a song about Hank Williams, poking fun at him for comparing the President of the United States to Hitler. Oh, but the good sport came out on stage just to show he wasn’t mad at Paisley for the jab, and even got a standing ovation from the crowd. All in good fun. Comparing the President to Hitler. Ah, I betcha even Obama shared a laugh at that one. Hey, it’s Country. Obama’s not getting any of their votes anyway.

The Bored Perry

• The Band Perry took home a few awards. Very attractive group of performers, in fact, they look like they all stepped right out of the salon, especially the guitarist. Country music never looked quite so feathered before. I also like his scarf. For some reason there are two girls in the band – I can only assume they are in the band since they are on stage – sitting down having tea. One of them is reading a book.  Seriously. This in contrast to the previous performers’ strippers chair dancing in leather. Apparently the Perry Band didn’t get the memo. They also didn’t get the sentence structure lesson when naming themselves, either.

The Muppets Take Revenge. Coming soon.

• Some girl wore a skirt made of dead Mupppets.

• Now the nominees for Vocal Group of the year. I expected Acapella, but no. Not sure what makes these groups different than any others. They still play country music. And sing. Aren’t they all Vocal Groups? I mean, it’s country. There isn’t a category for Best DJ, or Best PsyTrance group. What the hell is a Vocal Group?

• Ohhhhhh! The Bono of Country!

"I can live, without you..."

Holy crap, Matt Nathanson! Who is this guy? Exactly like Bono! Only thing missing is the glasses. I really think the only reason he isn’t wearing them is because he knew no one would miss the link if he had. I mean, it’s pretty ridiculous. If you haven’t seen this performance, or heard the way this guy sings, imagine doing your absolute best most comical Bono impersonation. Now imagine doing it better. Now imagine Bono doing his best Bono impression. Now shoot yourself, because you obviously are in horrible agony. Even this crappy song sounds like something Bono might have wiped off his ass.

• Wow. Country got gay. Really gay. Brad Paisley? I couldn’t make this stuff up.

• Here’s a new concept, someone (trust me I have no idea who) just announced winners of a category during his song. I don’t know who should be more insulted – the winners of “Best Radio Host” who had to have their announcement snuck into a performance, or the artist who had to do it. Probably we should be the most insulted, for them thinking we wouldn’t notice. Or that we would. Or that we are watching. Either way I feel insulted.

Lady Liberty at the CMAs

• Carey Underwood dressed like the Statue of Liberty to introduce Reba, who then announced the entertainer of the year, Taylor Swift. Will someone please feed that girl?

• Actually Miss Underwood looks more like a Battlestar Galactica character than Lady Liberty. I’ve actually never seen the show, but that’s how I’d imagine it. With boobs.

Why did they end it with “We’ll see you at the Oscars”? Who were they speaking for? The mind control Television Gods? We’re all doomed.

Summer shows... so far

So many. Where to begin? Of course there was there was Wakarusa. What can I say? Team Stellar and the rest of the Waka-crew made it an amazing time. The music was fantastic, and mostly because of groups/DJs/people we had never seen or heard of before. Of course the headliners were good, but the second acts stole the show. After getting a serious groove on at Pretty Lights, it was kinda hard to sit through a Yonder show, which seemed to have more banter and talking than it had music. Of course, they hadn't played together for a while, and they were maybe just warming up, but come on guys, it's fucking Waka, you've got to bring it! And they should know better, it isn't their first rodeo.

Sound Tribe sort of brought it, but never got quite as dirty as we were waiting for. But no worries, our dirtiness was fulfilled by The Egg, 20/20 Soundsystem, and Boombox, all of who brought the tents down! The surprise of the weekend for me? Black Crowes, who I hadn't realized are now playing with Luther from North Mississippi Allstars. They rocked. Sure, we didn't see the whole show, but I was definitely impressed.

Also a standout on the backwoods stage, Elephant Revival, who continues to amaze and amaze. Our first excursion out after returning to reality was an Elephant show at the Fox. They were, unbeknownst to us until show time, the opener for Ukelele Douchbag or something or other. There was another opener, Danielle Ate the Sandwich, who was lovely! Elephant then brought their wonderful positive aura onto the fox, and everyone had a blast. Hula girl was on stage for several songs, prompting us all to wonder why she isn't in a traveling circus? Absolutely amazing. Like, seriously unreal hula-hooping!

When Elephant finally had to make way for the headlining Ukele Loki and his Something or Other Orchestra, it was to the dismay of the crowd, about half of whom decided not to stick around. Ukelele had some potential, but I couldn't get over the feeling that Loki (the namesake and frontman) was a total jackass. I also got the distinct feeling that the rest of the band agreed with me. The girls hanging from the ceiling spinning around didn't help, either. I couldn't stop thinking about them falling and cracking a neck on the edge of the stage, which they were positioned directly on top of. It made me long for a nice. safe, beautiful hula girl. I also couldn't help but notice the attention one of the lovely ladies from Elephant got when she joined the crowd. Even during another band's performance, people were still captivated by Elephant Revival. In my opinion, the most refreshing, genuine and amazingly talented group in the area. These kids are gonna be huge!

What was next.... hmm. David Byrne? Pretty incredible. Long story, but our party bus ended up being the transport for his guitar, which was accidentally left in Teluride, and made its was to Red Rocks through the Mountain Sun and by way of Disco Dan (complements of the real guardian of the guitar, who shall remain nameless). No, we didn't play it. We didn't even take it out of the case to look at it. But we knew it was there! And we got it safely to Mr. Byrne, and all was well.

The show was a Talking Heads dance party, pretty much. An identical setlist to one I saw last fall at the Buelle Theater, but completely different in the context of Red Rocks. Awesome.

Then came a completely unexpected surprise show... a 'private' String Cheese Incident 'soundcheck' at the Ogden. The 'private' show was completely packed, and a little too hot. After spending the last month at festivals or outdoors performances, the rave-like sweatbox of the Ogden in June was a bit of a shock. Nevertheless, the boys threw down an amazing show. I swore I kept hearing Kyle tease 'Burning Down the House' but it was never played, and may have just been my imagination.

Last weekend we didn't make it to any live shows, but caught Darkside of the Rainbow at the Boulder Theater, a completely different experience than in a dorm room! It still blows me away. Of course, most of the second and third times that Darkside plays, it kinda loses it a bit, but is SO worth it for the ending...

Up next: STS9 at Red Rocks....

They're back....

boy.....
and not back where they left off. either.
man....
back like they were at their absolute best.
musically, i don't think i've heard a performance as technically beautiful as that in ages and ages, if ever. have they secretly been practicing for the past 5 years? the energy infused in every song, from waste to possum, was unparalleled.
now, i didn't get to see the show, so i'm going on sound alone here (which should be plenty to go on) but i could hear the smiles of each member of the band at times.
"Play it, Leo" was shouted with such joy, as if Trey had been waiting and waiting to get the chance to trumpet one more time that miraculous call, and couldn't be happier to have been blessed with the opportunity to do so.
the shouts of the audience clued me in to the visuals i was missing. i can only assume by the roar of the crowd that something was bouncin' round the room with the music.
for all the anxious fans wondering if this would be the show, weekend or tour we my get to experience a much awaited fluffhead, well, that anxiety was put to rest with the first note emerging from trey's guitar.

god...

i endured a real trial in patience last night. i resisted all temptations at viewing the setlist. see, this era of phish is the era of twitter, blackberries and iphones. from the first note of fluffhead, every detail of the performance was available online to those that chose to look.

i waited. mr. miners phishthoughts.com was so kind to post a "no-spoilers" page, where the show was available almast immediately after it was fiished, without the setliset anywhere near the page. i listened with the same awe, suprise and amazement that those in the mothership had. i sat hear laughing my ass off in joy as the first notes of divided sky let out, thinking 'holy shit, holy shit!" of course nothing could compare to the collective elation that must have been felt in that arena, but, for not having been there, i got to experience it with the same mystery and anticipation. for that, i say "thank you, mr. miner".

they seemed to pull out every trick in the book. like this was their one shot to amaze us once again. one last chance to let fly with everything left in the bag. but it's not! this is just the beginning. and the glimpse of the new future is ridiculous! if this is what the latest chapter is going to hold, get ready! phish is back, and they've returned to rock our universe.

the mothership is back in orbit.

shit...

hampton..

still waiting. for now, hampton comes alive. w. o. w. forget sometimes what a piece of magic this is. is what's happening now close? (and, although i know it appears that i am, i'm not talking about the show with rerun) surpassing? greatly surpassing?
i took a few glimpses at a post. all i allowed myself to see was "holy shit! holy shit! they're back!"
hmm....
holy shit. they're back.

Valentine's Dinner

A delicious Valentine's Dinner. We made acorn squash, baked with brown sugar and maple syrup. It came out juicy and tender, and sweet and awesome.

I also fried some eggplant, very lightly breaded in flour mixed with garlic and nutmeg. The fried eggplant was layered with tomatoes which had been marinated in white wine, olive oil, salt, pepper, and parsley. Each layer was smothered in a fresh parmigiana spread that Kelly made with garlic, basil, and roasted peppers. The eggplant tomato stack was topped with a red wine reduction.

The main course was scallops, simply marinated in white wine and lemon juice, with some herbs. They were sauteed with scallions until the scallions melted away! I topped the scallops with s & p, and a bit of chili powder for a kick!